


Pray You Catch Me.

by Agentrogers17



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Natasha Romanov, Reader-Insert, Relationship(s), Steve Rogers Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9399731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: Something is off. Steve, reader's long time boyfriend, acts weirder than usual. And reader can feel the way he is becoming a stranger. And she needs to know why. She needs to know why everything went this wrongn





	1. Chapter 1

**_You can taste the dishonesty, it’s all over your breath_ **

**_As you pass it off so cavalier, but even that’s a test_ **

**_Constantly aware of it all, my lonely ear_ **

**_Pressed against the walls of your world…_ **

 

I watched with my eyelids half open as Steve rushed out of the room. A perfect blue jeans which fitted him quiete well and a white t-shirt. Casual and breathtaking. He started doing this some time ago. Dressing good early in the morning and leaving somewhere. I didn’t know where he went, I didn’t know to whom he went. I just knew that he was keeping a big secret from me. And no matter how many times I tried to talk to him about this he always found a way to run away. I just kept watching him going further away from me. Just watching him becoming a stranger. After laying some more as I watched his empty pillow I got up and went to shower. Deep down I wanted to cry but crying wouldn’t solve anything. Crying would not make Steve mine again. If he ever was mine…

“Good morning (Y/n).” Clint said as he winked at me a gave him a small smile and said good morning.

“Haven’t see you and Cao together for a while. Is something happening between the two of you?”

“I don’t know Clint. I really don’t.”

“Where is he?”

“Left quite early in the morning. I don’t know where.”

“Want me or Nat to spy on him?”

“No. I think that if he wanted me to know he would tell. But… I don’t know. It is like he is not the same person with whom I started this realtionship. He is just… He is a stranger now. A man I have no idea who.”

“Have you tried to talk with him?”

“Million times but… He never answers the questions. He always finds a way out.”

“Have you talk about ending the relationship?”

“No…”

“Do you want to end it?”

“I love or I loved what we had but… It seems so far away right now that sometimes I am not sure if that ever existed. If Steve Rogers and I ever existed. I am not sure Clint. I can’t be. He just actes so soulless. That is not my Steve. That is not the man I fell in love with. This is a stranger and I don’t know what to do.”

***

“She is lost you know… The way you are treating her, the way you act like an ass. I don’t know what you are expecting but you are hurting her.”

“What do you expect me to do Natasha? What would you do if you were on my place.”

“I’d tell her the truth and stop acting like the last coward.”

“So you want me to tell her I cheated on her by mistake and now I am dying of guilt? You want me to tell her this?”

“Yes! Because running away from her every morning and acting like a dick makes it look like you have a regular side chick.”

“From all people…”

“Oh shut that ‘ _ from all people…’  _ shit. You made a mistake deal with it! Tell her that you slept with another girl while you were high on Asgardian liquer and made a mistake! Tell her that you love her so much and this affair makes everyting in your life impossible! Tell her the fucking truth and let her decide!”

 

**_Pray to catch you whispering_ **

**_I pray you catch me listening_ **

**_I’m praying to catch you whispering_ **

**_I pray you catch me…_ **

 

It was over and hour and I was watching Steve. We all were in the meeting room. Something about new trainies and programs but all I did was to watch Steve. But he was just listening to Fury eyes fixed on him. He didn’t knew maybe didn’t care about me watching him. Probably didn’t care. The emptiness inside me grew as I watched his concentrated face the way this subject was important the him. And the way I was not important to him. He didn’t give a fuck he never did. I took a deep silent breath to keep my tears at bay.

“Agent (Y/N), are you feeling okay?” Fury asked me. Everyone looked at me except for Steve.

“I feel a bit dizzy.” lie… “Will it be a problem if you’d continue the meeting without me?” I asked. 

“No. Go to medbay and get yourself checked Agent.” he said and I excused myself from the meeting room

 

**_I’m praying to catch you whispering_ **

**_I pray you catch me whispering_ **

**_I pray you catch me…_ **

 

I watched as (Y/n) left the meeting room. I knee she wasn’t sick. I knew it was because of me. And I felt myself worse than ever. Natashe kicked my leg and looked and me with one of her coldblooded killer looks. I just mouthed her  _ ‘I know…’ _

***

I layed on my bed watching the ceiling. It has been few days since I left Steve’s room in the morning and din’t return back. I wasn’t sure if he even noticed. And if he did I wasn’t sure if he cared.

A soft knock on the door stopped my train of thoughts.

“Come in.” I said silently and I saw as Wanda softly came inside with her big curious eyes.

“I thought you’d need someone to talk with. I am not the person you want to talk with but… I didn’t wanted you to ben alone.”

“Thanks Wanda.” I said giving her a half smile.

“I don’t know what he did but since these thing between you started to happen I can feel a wave of guilt and pain radiating from him. He feels guilty about something he did and I don’t know what.”

 

**_Nothing else ever seems to hurt like the smile on your face_ **

**_When it’s only in the memory, it don’t hit me quite the same_ **

**_Maybe it’s a cause for concern, but I’m not at ease_ **

**_Keeping my head to the curb_ **

 

It was strange to feel his arms around me one more time after this long. He was smiling and I was too. We were happy. It was beautiful he peppered my face with his kisses. His lips softly caresing my face, biting my neck playfully and pressing me to his big warm body. It was beautiful how he loved me. How he made me feel this way. He bended down and placed a deep romantic kiss on my lips as his strong arms lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed me to wall and buried his face in my neck my hands caresing hs sun blond hair.

“You know that I love you more than anything right baby doll?” he asked me his lips on my jaw.

“I know Stevie.”

“And you? Do you love me?”

“To the moon and back.” he just gave me one of his beautiful boyish smiles but… Somehow deep down it made me feel like someone was stabbing me. Hard and deep.

“What is wrong doll?” he asked.

“Steve…”

“What is wrong (Y/n)? Tell me what is wrong? What is hurting you so much?” 

“You…” I said as I felt the wetness on my cheeks and I woke up suddanly. It was 3 in the morning and there was no way I could fall back asleep. I took a deep breath and stood up from my bed. I was only wearing my short shorts and a tank top. I went to kitchen and took some white wine. As I sat next to window and started to watch the streets I heard someone behind me. Someone painfully familiar.

“Could not sleep?” he asked me. It’s been a long time since we’d talk.

“No. You?”

“It is hard to sleep without you there.”

‘It wasn’t easy with me too. I mean, I don’t remember the last time I woke up next to you.”

“(Y/n), I truly am sorry about everything and…”

“If you are not going to tell me what is wrong with us, don’t even start.”

 

**_Pray to catch you whispering_ **

**_I pray you catch me listening_ **

**_I pray to catch you whispering_ **

 

“(Y/n)...” he took a deep breath I could see the worry in his eyes. But underneath the worry there was guilt. He felt guilty about something and I didn’t even know what.

“Steve I am giving you one last chance. If you are going to talk. Talk now.”

 

**_I pray you catch me,_ **

 

“I did something.”

“What?”

“I did something that I can never forgive myself about and I am not expecting you to forgive me either.”

“What the fuck did you do Rogers?”

 

**_I pray you catch me,_ **

 

“I love you (Y/n). I really do. With all my soul, all my body. I love you more than I could ever imagine myself loving someone.”

“What have you done?” I whispered. His eyes were full of tears which didn’t fall yet. He was terrified, he was guilty, he was sad…

 

**_I pray you catch me,_ **

 

He looked at me with his big blue eyes. The same blue as my hopes, same blue as my dreams, same blue as my happines. His handsome face was covered in pain. As a man who survived may wars he was used to pain but this one… This one was tearing him apart.

 

**_I’m praying you catch me._ **

 

“I never meant to.” he whispered. “I would never do anything like that. I never wanted. Never ever thought about that. This is just. It just happened and you need to understand. You have to understand. I never wanted things to go this way. I just…”

 

**_What are you doing my love?_ **

 

“(Y/n) I… I cheated on you.”

 


	2. Sandcastles.

**_We build sand castles_ **

**_That washed away_ **

**_I made you cry_ **

**_When I walked away_ **

 

_ “No I… I just can not Steve. We can’t be together not after what have you done.” _

_ “I was drunk and I… I am sorry doll. I am. I really am. You have no idea how much.” _

_ “Sorry doesn’t fix what you have done.” _

_ “Doll…” _

_ “Don’t call me that. You lost that chace.” _

***

It was hard to return to New York City after 4 years. I ran away from my friends and my old life for 4 years. I ran away from Steve for 4 years. Airport was as crowded as usual. I really did miss the way people were busy. The way movement never stopped. I took my bags and walked to look for a taxi. Nobody knew I was back except for Director Fury. So I needed to go to SHIELD base first. I wasn’t sure if I would visit Avengers Tower. 

***

_ “Are you leaving?” he asked. Voice harsh and broken. _

_ “You left me no choice.” _

_ “Stay.” he said, he whispered. I knew he was crying. I cried too. I cried a lot and… Crying did not solve anything. _

_ “Why? Steve why should I stay? I have nowhere to stay.” _

 

**_And altough I promised_ **

**_That I couldn’t stay_ **

**_Every promise don’t work out that way_ **

**_Every promise don’t work out thay way_ **

 

I watched the city I missed so much. Hopefully no Avenger would be at base so I could do all this quickly. 

“Welcome Agent (Y/n).” I heard Fury.

“It’s good to be back.” I said as we walked to his office.

“How was Poland?”

“Nice. I really liked the country.”

***

_ “Where will you go?” _

_ “I don’t know yet.” _

_ “(Y/n)...” _

_ “Steve. Don’t.” _

_ “I need you here.” _

_ “No you don’t.” _

_ “It was a mistake.” _

_ “Doesn’t change the fact that it was real.” _

_ “I am sorry.” _

_ “No.” _

_ “I am begging you stay.” _

_ “I can’t.” _

***

“I won’t work with the Avengers.” I said firmly looking at Director.

“You are an Avenger (Y/n). Like it or not. You are an important member of that team.”

“I quit them. I don’t want to be a part of that team I am sorry.”

“Just because an incedent happened between you and Captain Rogers, doesn’t mean you can leave everything and go. I let you stay away from him for 4 years. That is enough time for your anger to be gone.”

“But it is not.”

“No Agent. It is. You are returning to that team, that is an order.”

“I’d prefer returning to Europe. I heard agents were needed in Odessa and Istanbul.”

“Not agents your rank. You are an Avenger and you are returning to where you belong.”

“Do they even know I am back?”

“No. That is something you should tell them. But Romanoff was curious where you were all these years.”

“How are they?”

“Not as fine as they were with you. Captain is…”

“I don’t care what Rogers is doing.”

“He is making himself work more and more every day. Has no social life. Everyrhing he does is missions and trainings.”

“He always was a workaholic.”

“You and I both know that is not the reason.”

 

**_Dishes smashed on my counter_ **

**_From our last encounter_ **

**_Pictures snatched out of frame_ **

**_Bitch I scratched out your name_ **

**_And your face_ **

 

_ “Get out.” I hissed. His handsome face broken. Eyes puffy and red from crying. Which only made his baby blue eyes bluer. _

_ “You need to listen to me doll. You don’t understand.” _

_ “All I am doing is listening to you Steve. And I am getting sick of hearing all these you know. So just… Just stay away from me.” _

_ “(Y/n), love…” _

_ “You had done enough. Go away.” _

 

**_What is it about you?_ **

**_That I can’t erase babe_ **

**_When every promise don’t work out that way_ **

**_No no baby_ **

**_When every promise don’t work out that way_ **

 

“I came to report, sir.” I heard his voice behind me. It was like, my heart stopped beating for a moment. I didn’t dare to turn his way, I didn’t dare to face him.

“Welcome Captain. Sit down. I was just welcoming Agent (Y/n). She just returned from her mission.”

“(Y/n)...” he whispered. His voice full of longing and craving like he missed even calling my name. I could feel his eyes on the back of my neck. I softly turned to him and said:

“Captain.” without making anu eye contact.

“Welcome back. It was not the same without you.” he said. Trying hard to keep everything under control.

“I was just telling (Y/n) how Avengers need her.”

“Team really misses you and it is hard to fight without you on our side. And I.. We really miss you.”

 

**_And your heart is broken_ **

**_Cause I walked away_ **

**_Show me your scars_ **

**_And I won’t walk away_ **

 

Retuning to tower was hard. In the same care with Steve. Me, trying so hard to keep my eyes on window. Him looking at me with thah sad look in those eyes.

“I thought I’d never see you again. I though you’d become a memory just like everybody else.”

“I couldn’t run forever.”

“You could. But I thank heavens that you did not.”

“I am not back for a relationship.”

“I know but… Now that you are here, I know you are okay, I can look out for you here.”

“I don’t need that.”

“I am just glad you are here.”

 

**_And I know I promised that I couldn’t stay_ **

 

“Did you tell the others that I returned?”

“No. I thought you’d like to show.”

“Yeah… Thanks.”

“They would not be able to believe you know? We all thought you were gone. And we all knew it was my fault.”

“I had to return at some point.”

“You and I both know you did not have to do anything.”

 

**_Every promise don’t work out that way_ **

 

“I know you probably hate me and everyrhing but… I just want you to know that I still love you, very much and you still mean the world to me.”

“Steve.”

“I know you don’t want me anymore. I totally get it but… You have to know (Y/n). Even if we are not together and we won’t. It is still beautiful to havd you around than thousand kilometers away fighting by yourself. So far that I could never get to your help on time. I am just happy to have you here.”

 

**_Every promise don’t work out thay way._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Take you for reading.  
> Please leave kudos, comments and ideas.  
> Love you all♡♡♡


End file.
